There’s no point in doing a list like this on Republicans. Calling them disgraceful would be an improvement, kind of like calling Hitler misguided rather than evil. Ditto for conservative Democrats, who’ll share a special place in hell with their friends from across the aisle.
No, this list is reserved for the so-called liberal Democrats who were supposed to do the right thing after they won the House and Senate in the last election. It also includes those Democrats outside Congress who could have made a difference in 2007, who could have stood up to George W. Bush and the corporate power brokers of their own party, but didn’t.
10. Barack Obama: Pundits keep asking: Is this guy black enough for black voters? Jesus, he’s not even black enough for white voters– at least white progressive voters. He makes Tiger Woods look like Malcolm X. And after you get beyond all the feel-good rhetoric and adulation from Oprah, his positions on the important issues are not that much different than Hillary’s. Truth is, Obama is no Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton. He’s not even Dennis Kucinich. He’s a well-rehearsed corporate-backed candidate we’re supposed to trust because he’s multi-cultural and can fit in with individuals of all races and income levels. In reality, he’s more at home at an upscale cocktail party than a down-home chicken wings and ribs barbeque.
9. Howard Dean: Poor Dean, he who once held so much promise, destroyed by the pezzonavante of the Democratic Party when he got too close to winning the nomination for president on a populist platform. So they torpedoed his campaign and replaced him with John Kerry, a patrician team player who knew his place and allowed George W. Bush to steal the presidential election of 2004 from right under his nose. After that, people wondered how Dean would react to the powerbrokers that cut his strings. Now we know– he works for them. AAARRRR!
8. Alan Colmes: He doesn’t really belong on this list, but since everyone else beats up on him, I guess I will too. He’s the wussy liberal guy on Hannity and Colmes who disgraces liberals on a daily basis by allowing his big-mouth right-wing partner to bitch slap him whenever he gets uppity. He’s so meek, even Al Franken and Jon Stewart kick the shit out of him. Just once I’d like to see Colmes lose his temper, jump out of his chair, and coldcock Hannity with a right cross– that’s assuming Colmes knows how to make a fist, of course.
7. Bill Clinton: For some reason, a lot of Democrats still think Bill Clinton was a great president. Actually he was a great president– a great Republican president masquerading as a Democrat. Am I being unfair to “The Great Triangulator”? OK, try this: Name one piece of major liberal legislation that came to fruition during his eight years in office? Can’t think of any? Proves my point. Now he hangs out with Bush Senior, makes a ton of money on speeches, and lies about his original position on Iraq to help his wife get elected. Is this a guy we should trust? Well, I guess we can trust him about as much as Hillary does.
6. Hillary Clinton: Same as Bill, only worse. A onetime Goldwater girl, Hillary is the more conservative of the two. Yet ironically, many Democrats, especially women, think she will right all the wrongs of the Bush regime if she becomes president. What they fail to realize is that on the three most important issues of our time– health care, the U.S. occupation of Iraq, and renewable energy– she’s almost as conservative as many Republicans. Not to mention the fact that in the last couple of years she’s been sucking up to the likes of Newt Gingrich and Rupert Murdoch. Perhaps once a Goldwater girl always a Goldwater girl!
5. John Conyers: Before the Dems took control of the Congress, Conyers was Mr. Tough Guy. Whenever the name of Bush or Cheney came up, he pounded his chest and assured everyone he was going to impeach their sorry asses! But once the Democrats took over, it was a different story. He went from being Jake La Motta to Nancy Pelosi’s hand puppet. And whenever he’s asked about this sudden turnabout, he sounds like he’s doing a Jackie Mason routine: I was going to impeach, I wanted to impeach, I forgot to impeach, it’s too late to impeach…
4. Chuck Schumer: After railing and blustering for hours on end against Alberto “Fredo” Gonzalez at the Senate hearings, everyone thought that once Gonzalez was out of the family business, Schumer would lead the charge to approve a decent Attorney General, not another sycophant to the Bush administration. Instead he caved in and voted in favor of Michael Mukasey for AG, even after Mukasey refused to say at the Senate hearings that water boarding was torture. Now his vote is coming home to roost as Mukasey refuses to appoint an independent counsel to investigate the missing torture tapes, letting the Bush gang off the hook yet again. Nice going, Chuck!
3. Diane Feinstein: Not only did Feinstein vote with Schumer to confirm Mukasey, she has often sided with Republicans to allocate money to continue the occupation of Iraq, to extend the US Patriot Act, and to exacerbate the Foreign Intelligence and Surveillance Act (FISA). In addition, she has voted for appropriations worth billions of dollars to firms owned by her hubby, Richard C. Blum, to provide goods and services in Iraq and Afghanistan. Despite this egregious record, some people still think Feinstein is liberal. With liberals like this, who needs conservatives!
2. Harry Reid: Last year, when it came time for the Democrats to choose a tough, take-no-prisoners-style Senate Majority Leader, someone imposing enough to stand up to the Bush high command and use the position as a bully pulpit to restore democracy in America, who immediately came to mind? Why, Harry Reid, of course, a guy who looks like Stan Laurel and is about as imposing as Soupy Sales. Which probably explains why after a year on the job, his approval rating is 27% among voters nation-wide. So I guess it’s just not me; most Americans are not wild about Harry either. It’s a shame, because he seems like a decent person. Unfortunately, you don’t send a guy with a knife to a gunfight.
And the Number One Most Disgraceful Democrat of 2007–
1. Nancy Pelosi: Sorry, I should say, Nancy “Impeachment Is off the Table” Pelosi. When she first became Speaker of the House, liberals had high hopes for her. Here was a tough liberal from San Francisco, the most liberal of liberal cities in America, who was going to come in, read Bush the riot act, and change the course of history. But instead of getting Joan of Arc, we got Joan Rivers, only without the jokes.
Actually, at first I thought it was a joke when Pelosi refused to bring impeachment proceedings against Bush and when she wouldn’t cut funding for the occupation of Iraq. But then I realized it was true. The Democrats were going to take a dive again, even though they were in charge of the fight!
What can one say about such disgraceful behavior? Not much, I’m afraid, other than to reiterate what progressive critics have been saying for decades– there ain’t much difference between the Democratic and Republican parties since they’re both bought and paid for by the same corporate interests.
Oh, yeah, one more thing: Now we know why the current Speaker of the House wears a dress and is called Nancy.